Saturday, February 03, 2018

Nepal - THE WEDDING!

After several conflicting electronic communications regarding the timing of the wedding, the Yale crew descended on Ryan's family's hotel room at about 8AM to have our saris wrapped by the aunties (none of whom were wearing saris because they're too smart for that.)

A has taken a page out of my sister's book

Our saris, a gift from A, were of a light, thin, silky fabric that was much harder to pleat and wrap than the traditional stiffer fabric (and didn't look quite as regal). Cinched tightly into our petticoats and with a startling lack of sparklewear (I don't travel with the amount of gold expected for a Nepali wedding) we left the hotel with the groom's family to process around the garden. We were accompanied by a band of drums and horns, one of which sounded like an elephant trumpeting (and periodically scaring the bejeezus out of me). The men were also decked out in suits and topi (the traditional Nepali hat) and carried in trays of bread, coconut, and oranges.

As we entered the seating area we were given a garland of marigolds, a prayer scarf, a tika on our foreheads, a red envelope containing money and had flower petals thrown at us. N said it made her feel like a movie star.  Evidently we were supposed to dance in to show that the groom's family was exciting and fun-loving but I'm not sure we made the best showing -- perhaps because we had little idea of what was going on and us girls are actually from the bride's side.


We weren't alone in our ignorance. Our cultural guides explained that each ethnic group has their own wedding customs and traditions and that since they were Sherpa and Newar respectively -- and the bride was Gurung -- they were less than enlightening. They did say, however, that this was the smallest and best organized ceremony they had ever seen. 

We were told to sit men and women separately but this might have been a mistranslation of groom's side/bride's side. It didn't matter much because after about fifteen minutes of chanting an auntie was dispatched to send us to breakfast. I was a little surprised at the break. Since we were told the ceremony would last from 9 until 1, I had brought snacks. So after a lackluster breakfast we returned to the ceremony. For a while we stood near the wedding platform and took close-up pictures of the bride and groom. Even one of the chanting monks took a picture. Then we were dragged off by the aunties to dance for a bit -- until we were yelled at by the monks for disturbing the ceremony.

Post-chanting the men in the groom's family were each given white turbans to wrap around their head and the women were given wool shawls as they blessed A. Then everyone and their mother were given prayer shawls -- first the family and then the bride and groom. After about an hour of blessings, the groom's brothers were dispatched to negotiate the successful return of the groom's shoes from the bride's girl cousins. Despite having a professional litigator and negotiator on their side, the American men were no match for the savvy ladies who came away with $850!

After this showdown we were escorted back into the hotel. I, and at least one family member who had unwrapped her sari, thought the ceremony was over but with petticoats digging into our full bellies we went back outside to see the bride and groom be fed yogurt and take pictures with family. The final event was the kidnapping of the bride. A was carried into the hotel to start her new life as part of R's family.

I will note that it was now 3PM.

This was the first wedding that I didn't cry at! I don't know if it was because I didn't know the groom or because there was no exchange of vows or public profession of love. The bride and groom were more figureheads, literally unmoving and unspeaking as they were blessed for hours.

Post-wedding we split a bottle of wine at our hotel and went out for momos and, again, were asleep by 9.

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