Saturday, November 15, 2008

Doctores punto com

In Bolivia people get sick. (duh?) As such, they have developed wide ranging wit and wisdom inherent to folk medicine. If you suffer from intestinal parasites, stys, cracking joints or rashes among other ailments, please continue reading and you may find a cure!

  • Got hiccups? Don't worry. You're growing.
  • Intestinal parasites? Eat a piece of cheese and chase it with a shot of your favorite alcohol. As it happens, bichitos can't get enough of cheese. They'll swarm to it and then be killed by the booze. Not a bad way to go if you ask me.
  • A sty? Or chalazion? Or whatever the heck they're called...eye pimple? Put a pair of dirty underwear on it.
  • Gall bladder problems are a result of RAGE. (much like zombie-ism)
  • UTI? You forgot to bundle your kidneys! (Don't ask. I'm not entirely sure how that works)
  • Don't look at something you shouldn't. You'll get pink eye.
  • Coke cures diarrhea. How's that for product placement?
  • Beer, on the other hand, cures sore throats, hangovers and all sorts of social phobias.
  • If you stand on something cold, you'll get arthritis. (Don't worry, beer will loosen those old joints up!)
  • If you sit on something hot, you'll get a stomachache.
  • Rashes can be caused by an unclean stomach. (I actually heard this from a medical professional.) However, hives can be cured by wearing clothing of the opposite sex.
  • Sinning results in knee pain...or is it the atonement?
  • and finally, semen is a phenomenal anti-wrinkle agent.
All better?

Whidbey Island New Years Eve bash

On the morning of our New Years Eve visit to Whidbey Island, my friend texted, “Are you sure you still want to go? It’s going to rain.” But ...