Birthday rant

This is my very first rant (some of them have been stewing for a while):

To the person who stole my cd player: You suck. And on my birthday no less! I suppose I am partially to blame for leaving such a succulent-looking $10 discman on the front seat of my car. I know I'm to blame for leaving the door unlocked. But thanks for being thorough and also stealing the adaptor and charger (oh! man! and my awesome rechargeable batteries. oh now I'm really sad) and the coins in my ash tray. That last move was really classy. I hope you enjoy the variety of Canadian change. And thanks for locking the door after you.

To my housemate: You suck. Thanks for locking me out of my house for 13 hours....while you were inside! This was especially cool because I had just returned from a week-long business trip to Canada and was tired, hot, and cranky. I find it interesting that you didn't hear me pounding on the door for two hours or yelling at you or even notice the soccer ball bouncing off your window. Especially since you nearly fell down the stairs in your rush to heed the Chinese delivery-dude's feeble tap the very next day. Remarkable hearing recovery. And you wonder why I'm still a bit angry? (I know this is a delayed rant but I'm still feeling residual anger)

To the cops: (You always have to damn the man.) I don't blame you in the slightest for the cd player. However, I'm a little worried about your priorities. My block isn't a venue for seeing how fast your squad car can go from 0 to 60. There are kids around! OK, not at 2AM but you should have at least checked out why I was throwing a soccer ball at someone's window...and yelling and pounding. I could be a shady character.

To my other housemate: You don't really suck but sometimes you're a bit stupid. Thanks for making fun of me for driving to work. Especially since you drive three blocks to catch the metro. Who's the wasteful one? And ecologist does NOT equal crazy bunny-hugging liberal environmentalist...although I may be one.

To everyone who thinks that if you do me a favor then I owe you one: I owe you nothing. Get over it. Maybe I'll help you out later or buy you a beer or something but it is NOT required. This also goes out to those who won't ask me for a favor because they think that then they'll owe me one. I'm saddened that people think this way.

To rest areas that have defective tampon machines: for chrissake! I won't give details but it really would have helped if y'all had working machines that didn't eat my last quarters leaving me soggy and angry. Pennsylvania this means you.

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I saw the mower fairies yesterday. They were not Hispanic but Black. You get the point anyway.

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The other day I saw an unattended large paper bag in the Tenleytown metro. I did not alert anyone. Selfish and horrible, I didn't want to have them close the metro station because then my commute would not happen. I saw other people noticed it too but they also didn't alert anyone. We would have felt horrible if it exploded.

Losing steam....