The lawn mower fairy

The masses have been clamoring for an update! And boy do I have plenty of news!

I have poison ivy between my toes! Hoo-ray!
I just bought new curtains but don't have a drill to install the curtain rod! Joy!
I peed outside in a new state! DC!
My sister's dog still hates me! Can't blame her!
I STILL have corn stuck between my teeth! Arg!
The lawn mower fairy came to visit! Yippee skippee!

Wait. The lawn mower fairy? What is that? The other morning as I was moseying to the metro station (work and all) I noticed that all the lawns in my neighborhood were neatly trimmed. "How lovely!" I thought as my mind filled with gleeful thoughts of quaint little neighborhoods with happy children skipping about. Then my thoughts were darkened by a deep suspicion. I have never seen anyone mow their lawn in my neighborhood. Ever. I, for one, don't even own a lawn mower. Was this some dark evil force at work? A demon nefariously robbing our humble block of its organic matter, perhaps stockpiling it for some creative bio-weapon? Nope! It's the lawn mower fairy! This delicate pink winged creature can be seen frolicking through residential areas eradicating unsightly grass growth. It is often accompanied by fairy work horses which look astonishingly like John Deere ride-on mowers.
Note: In all honesty, I'm exaggerating a bit. I imagine that lawn fairies look surprisingly like Latinos in matching t-shirts and jeans. But I've never seen them. They do their work in the quiet of the day.

As I think about this, I realize that the average reader was probably not quite as struck by the lawn mower fairies as they were by perhaps peeing in a new state or the dog that hates me. Well, long-story-short I was locked out of my house for 12 hours and was so angry, hot, tired, and hydrated that I wasn't thinking straight and peed in my back yard. Take that lawn fairy!

Regarding doggie hatred, I'm the current dog-sitter so I'm equated with parent-less weeks and poor dog-walking skills. In this current reincarnation of dog-sitting, I was asked to walk the dog as my sister and her husband went for a training run. (come see them in Virginia Beach at the Rock and Roll Half Marathon!) So the poor dog saw her parents run away and then was stuck walking five miles in the blazing sun with someone who walks just a bit too slow to keep up with a dog. Hey! I wasn't having fun either!

This blog is certainly not life changing.