El Reino de Espana - but first...lunch!

I know. I went to Spain in July. It's October. You, loyal reader, have been more than patient but unfortunately I do not have exhaustive notes on my trip. Although I carried my notebook through museums, markets and public gardens and toted it on planes, trains and buses I did not really use it.

This is a common problem for me. Walking and writing at the same time tends to aggravate my clumsiness and after long days of trekking 200 miles in 900 degree heat I found myself too exhausted (and prone to exaggeration) to document my day. So perhaps a photo essay will suffice.

We flew to Spain. We flew on a plane. It was fun. There was a camera on the tail. We saw the plane take off and fly and land from the inside. I retained water. Lots of water.

Day 1: Still swollen. Upon successfully navigating the Metro and getting directions to our hotel (Vale?) Mary (my charming elder sister) and I set out to see the wide and wonderful city of Madrid. But first! Lunch!

Perhaps some explanation is needed: Mary and I have a shared fantasy of being contestants on the Amazing Race. We have similar travel styles, are relatively low key, culturally sensitive and realtively good about talking to strangers. However, this trip pointed out some of the flaws in our dream.

Flaw #1: We are very Id-based beings. Immediate needs, usually food, are a priority for both of us. Several times throughout the trip we made great plans to see museums and plazas, castles and mosques...only to postpone them for food. "But first....lunch!"
If we were Amazing Race contestants they would take away our food as the first challenge and we would crack. We would crumble into cranky, silently crying messes.

So anyhoo, after a hot lunch of paella and Coke we tooled around Madrid and avoided creepy buskers in the Plaza Mayor.

Then we took artsy photos of doors and doorknobs...

...and visited several churches furnished and gilded in beautiful gold and silver filigree stolen from the poor oppressed Indians toiling away in South American mines. ahem. In this particular church we visited the catacomb where I asked the guide guy so many questions that he (naturally?) assumed that I wanted to buy a burial plot. I'm sorry Mom and Dad. In my botched Spanish I've purchased a crypt in the Catedral Almudena.

Then we went to the Palace, imaginatively named "the Royal Palace" and built crooked. Really. I can't say more about it beyond:
-There was lots of art.

-There was lots of armor.

-The Royal Pharmacy was awesome.

-The royal family were unfortunate looking people.

-Some poor chick passed out and conked her head on the marble staircase.

-Mary stayed in the bathroom for forever and the guards were trying to close the palace and I had to explain why I was still sitting in the gift shop when they were trying to kick me out. Id I tell you.

-I didn't use the bathroom even though I was still very swollen. I didn't have to explain that to the guards.

-even the fountains were crooked!

Next up: Our second day in Madrid. But first! Lunch!