Gack! Kryptonite! Hurts!

Several things hurt today.

1)I burnt the roof of mouth on some delicious Lenni-made nachos. Two nights ago. Still hurts! Huge blister! Ack!

2)My pantyhose. Megatha already wrote about how the inventor of pantyhose should be shot. That would be Allen Gant Sr. "In 1959, Glen Raven Mills of North Carolina introduced pantyhose -- underpants and stockings all in one garment. With the addition of an opaque nylon top, panthose eliminated the need for multiple 'foundation' garments." How Allen Gant figures in isn't entirely clear. Maybe he owned the place? Note: I wasn't aware that underwear isn't required with pantyhose. I doubt that eliminating such a foundation garment would make the pantyhose more comfortable.

For those who aren't picturing me underwear-less, "In 1930, Wallace Hume Carothers, Julian Hill, and other researchers for the DuPont Company studied chains of molecules called polymers, in an attempt to find a substitute for silk. Pulling a heated rod from a beaker containing carbon-and alcohol-based molecules, they found the mixture stretched and, at room temperature, had a silky texture. This work culminated in the production of nylon marking the beginning of a new era in synthetic fibers." I've actually made nylon before. Then I wrapped it around my head and robbed a bank.

Buy some tights, compression hosiery, or other lingerie!

3)My crush! I am in full-on, second grade, throwing crayons, pulling hair, shin kicking, desperately wishing for a kiss under the monkeybars mode.

and (men-folk stop reading) 4) I think my ovaries are trying to claw their way out.

That is all.