Are you writing this down?

Several interesting conversations have transpired this week:

The following two are the result of a phone call from my brother who admitted that he's so strapped for cash that he's wearing a pair of boxers that belonged to my exboyfriend. The exboyfriend in question has denied that these are his underwear so...
Me: the underwear mystery deepens
Ex: Perhaps the world will never know.

Trying to rationalize the fact that there may be more than one male who's boxers I'm in posession of...
Me: i have a confession: i'm a boxer stealer
Brother: you......
Me: i sneak into dorm rooms and wear them on my head, running around campus whooping. i can't stop!
Brother: well you left campus...
Me: but i live near one now!
Brother: true. run away. quickly. with no britches on your head

On a not-so-related note my father sent a letter revealing that he has discovered where the little lost socks go.

Previous to this I mentioned my concerns about medical clearance for Peace Corps (Environmental Ed! Latin America! January! woohoo!)....
Brother: make sure you didn't have sex with anyone for money that lived in africa while raising monkeys at 400 feet below sea level while spontaneously injecting heroine

Aren't you glad you asked?