the hair of expanding proportions

Lately I've had oodles of wonderful blog ideas. In fact, this morning I was planning on telling you about a highly editorialized piece that I heard on NPR about AIDS. They used an odd phrase to describe the disease that made me giggle. I opted to repeat it three times rather than write it down but I still forgot it. (Happy World AIDS Day by the way. Hey! I AM wearing red!) I also had similar plans to write a highly insightful review of RENT and to inform you all about gleeful sentence structure, with particular attention paid to dependent clauses and the correct use of the comma.

I suppose I could, instead, highlight some recent examples of my stupidity.
Me: I'm going to have to stay in DC this New Years because I don't have any vacation days. I had 24 hours but I took Friday off.
Meg: Um, Len...
Me: I get like 1.5 hour for every third day I work or something like that.
Meg: Um, Len...
Me: I know! It's crazy!
Meg: Um, Len....most work days are only 8 hours. You could take 3 days off.
Note to readers: I need plans for New Years.

I noticed that I often address my blog to my loyal reader(s). I similarly address my journal to my future grandchildren. However, I'm pretty sure my future grandchildren would respond with, "Ewww grandma! We didn't want to know that! lalala!" Speaking of family, my father has expressed interest in reading my blog. I suppose I'll have to find another venue for my Playboy-letter worthy exploits. Just kidding Dad...you can read them in Penthouse.

I have had an idea! (Not just now...it's been brewing for a while...but I thought you might want to hear about it.) Are you familiar with Missed Connections on Craig's List? I know you are, but I'll describe it anyway. Let's say you are wandering down the street and you pass a thoroughly charming young man (or woman, or old, whatever strikes your fancy). You feel a connection, a pang of longing perhaps, as you meet each other's eyes. (If you're me, you'll probably trip over something and fall into a garbage can at this point.) You turn back for a second glance, smile...but are too CHICKEN SHIT to say anything! Craig comes to the rescue. You can post a description of your encounter, hope against hope that your new love sees it, responds, meets you, and impregnates you numerous times (after marriage of course and obviously after a proper gestation period). An ideal system, it has since been bastardized into a way for men and women to lower the beauty of a fleeting electricity into a casual encounter. In essence, if I post a vague enough description flocks of women (or men, whatever) will respond, meet me, and buy me lots and lots of ponies.

So the idea? I will pick someone to choose for a missed connection every week. I don't even have to have any sort of connection with them. Eye contact, a verbal exchange isn't needed. I will simply pick someone I see and describe them on Craig's List to see what the responses are like. I plan to provide both for my loyal reader(s) on another blog. I have decided, that as a control, I will describe myself first.

If nothing else, this may be amusing and it will sharpen my use of description and adjectives in general for the time when I write my debut novel about a starving artist struck down by leprosy...and rabies.

Ok, if there are those who read this to see what I'm up to lately...um I went home for Turkey Day. yum. I'm back. yay.