I wanna be a zamboni driver.

Dude! (or "Fufe!" as I originally spelled it) You can buy your very own backyard zamboni! That is uber cool! By the way, uber is my new over-used word of choice.

Last night, I went to Dahlia's for their inaugural College Night. What better place to pick up young impressionable men? But really it just cemented my belief that I am an old soul (Polite way of calling me uptight) and that college students, particularly ones from DC, are insufferable with their popped collars. and trust funds. I shouldn't mock the moneyed (monied?) as I broke out my brand-spanking-new high-tech see-through cash-back credit card. I made a whole half a cent last night! Sadly, this is probably more than the interest on my savings account. (I have a savings account...see I really am old!)

Funfunsillywilly

It's always exciting to find undeveloped rolls of film! Whatever could the photos be of? Well they could be of...

Eastern market,

the National Cathedral, outside...

and in!




And once I figure out how to rotate some photos, more will appear. Stay tuned for more Cathedral, flowers, the boy, and sheep (mmmm sheep).

For Sale

In an effort to reduce the distractions in my life I have decided to sell some of the more superfluous things that I have.

For sale: one pair of ovaries and associated accoutrements, good condition, lightly used, have at least another 20 years on them.

May be willing to sublet. Can throw in appendix.

How many Newberry Honor books have you read?

So this post previously had an entire list of the Newberry Award winners with the ones i've read in bold so that I can show off to you how well read I am...in children's books. As It was pretentious and a waste of space you'll just have to go to the list by yourself.

Read: 53 of them
Still own: 23

Hang on Little Tomato

The sun has left and forgotten me
It’s dark, I cannot see
Why does this rain pour down
I’m gonna drown in a sea of deep confusion

Somebody told me, I don’t know who
Whenever you are sad and blue
And you’re feeling all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside you and you will find

You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it’s dark and not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love

Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you’ll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something’s coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to this advice
When change is hard and not so nice
If you listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you

~Pink Martini

Beeeeep....

So I just found this website. Ostensibly it's an NPR project to collect people's voicemails.

As they site says, and I'll repeat, "C'mon, you know you've got one. If you're like me, you've got some voicemails you've been saving on your phone for ages. For instance, right now I’ve got one from my boyfriend, followed by my friend talking in a funny accent, followed by my mom telling me to come home for dinner. Each voicemail is its own, full-length story; a time capsule of earlier parts of my life. Now I’m collecting other people’s favorite voicemails--happy, sad, ridiculous--to eventually showcase on NPR. I'm calling it The Voicemail Project, and I think it's going to catch those little fleeting moments of our everyday experience."

I actually only have two saved messages on my machine. Neither of them are particularly fascinating or funny: a call from my sister with a name of some Peace Corps guy and the boy calling about something or other.

But it made me reflect on the messages that I've left and that have been left on my voicemail. Hooray for the most obnoxious rendition of Happy Birthday ever, "She's waaaaaaaatching me. She's eeevil!", and of course minutes of dead space from me to you.

half a woohoo!

I'm published again. Ok. I know they have to publish me becuase I work here but it's still exciting. On more and I'm press! Three Woohoos! go go marine zooplankton

Authors have decided to declare this day "annoy the editor day and cause her to lose her mind." Minus one quarter of a woohoo.

The editor in question puked this morning. Who loves hot weather, dehydration, nasal drip (yum), and the aftermath of sushi and beer? Minus one quarter of a woohoo.

One more day with the boy. Minus two wohoos.

But I'm looking forward to woohoos to come.

And I quote...

"Yes. I am interested in the chair with the orange cushion listed for 3 dollars. Could you please describe in more detail. My entire house is outfitted in orange furniture. I think I have just the place for this in the den next to my orange toshiba tv. Is it more of a mango color or closer to pumpkin?? Please be as exact as possible. It is imperative that I have the right shade of orange. Also, are you willing to negotiate or barter? Three dollars may be a little to steep for me. I could pay in installments however. Or I have a chair with a green cushion I am willing to trade (or burn, i hate green now!!).

thank you,

Herp G. Shrope"

Ah Craigslist.

The below posting is mine, feel free to buy our STUFF.

----------

My roomates moved and I'm selling their STUFF!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-164853838@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-05-26, 9:30AM EDT


As in any group living situation, my housemates and I have unwillingly inherited a lot of STUFF. Please help us finance a sweet Memorial Day barbecue by buying this STUFF. Prices are open to negotiation. (If there are two items the price is for both of them as a set)

ELECTRONICS:
12inch TV $20
12inch TV, 1970s, may or may not work, but has a Tamagotchi keychain. $1
Bionaire air purifier $10
collection of computer speaker $5
clock radio $5
discman $2
walkman $2
Sharp stereo with detachable speakers, may or may not work $5
telephone $2
Farberware coffe maker w/no pot $5

HOUSEWARES:
2 bamboo curtains, no attachments $2
chandelier $2
Christmas cheese crock w/knife $2
metal wine rack, holds 7 bottles $5
laundry rack $2
laundry basket $2
blanket, black, furry, large (yo mama!) $2

FURNITURE:
office chair, wheels, leather-ish $7
chair, orange cushion $3
table/desk, 4x2, black wood and metal $20

RANDOM:
2 plastic pumpkin baskets for Trick-or-Treating $1
bamboo pole, 4ft, no idea what it's for $1
extra large dropcloth $1
Superman costume, adult sized $2
2 plastic sleds $5
frog poster, framed $2
under the sea poster, framed $2
wire head massager $1
milk crate $1
several binders $1
stuffed bear holding valentine $1
drawing pad $2
64 ounce Seminoles covered mug $1

BOOKS:
1916 $.25
NATO Manual $.25
Al Gore, a user's guide $.25
Scourge, the once and future threat of smallpox $1
Wickett's Remedy $1
The hungry tide $1
some random Japanese graphic novel, entirely in Japanese $.25
some random romance novel $.25
Left Behind $.25
East meets West $.25

We also have a bag of random shoes and some clothing if you're feeling brave.


this is in or around Tenleytown

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

the stars align

Hey! I left my keys in the lock of my car overnight and no one stole it! I am a lucky bastard! (most of the time)

-----------

"On the weekend of May 20 and 21, spend some time alone because you will be vulnerable to accidents and anger." ~ Virgo horoscope

If only I had read it...or cared. This weekend was definitely a rollercoaster, the kind that bangs you around making your head throb and your stomach heave, culminating in spectacular digestive pyrotechnics that offend all people within a two mile radius due to the overwhelming smell of half digested hotdogs and cotton candy.

Shall we begin with Saturday?
Original plans: help the boy pack, go to Book Expo, hang with Milkweedians (those who work at Milkweed, the largest non-profit literary press where I previously interned)
What really happened: help the boy pack, car break down, argue with boy while waiting three hours for tow truck, tow truck ride of life, not hang with Milkweedians, discover that none of the lights in my room work

And Sunday?
Original plans: go to Book Expo, hang with Milkweedians, go to Nats game
What really happened: can't get in Book Expo, get thrown out of Book Expo, not hang with Milkweedians, go to Nats game

Monday!
Original plans: get lights fixed, go to Jeopardy audition, kick ass at Jeopardy audition, work, soccer, sleep
What really happened: All of that plus some quality time with the roomies and the boy! (Oh except I went for a long run instead of soccer)

I've spared you the details because two good stories came out of this. I shall try to do them justice but just remember I have little experience with fiction, particularly character studies. (to be posted later after I have actually written them and edited them to death. Hints: One will be about the tow truck driver and the other will be about super spydom/getting kicked out of the Book Expo)

-----------
And in case you're interested, my official Jeopardy factoids are.... (drum roll please).......

1. I once got lost in Switzerland and the only words that I could remember from the German language tapes were "listen" and "repeat"
2. I have always wanted to be voice talent for cartoons
3. I've been canoeing in a snow storm.
4. I'm a published author and photographer.
5. I hike to the hightest point of DC every day.

doids de fact

How my very own sister sees me:
-you once stayed with veritable strangers while in switzerland; i don't think they spoke english
-we were insanely jealous of your ringlets when you were a kid
-you were afraid of bugs and dirt that looked like bugs and a very fake looking spider toy until you were about 3
-you used to tell people that you and joe were twins and made up a song about being the arnstein twins
-you have unusual taste in pants (per gram)
-you can recite the alphabet backwards
-you cheated on your elementary school poetry memorization tests
-you used to dream that you were playing basketball and "shoot" your stuffed toys all over the room
-your favorite defense strategy in basketball was to growl at your opponent
-you want to be a voice on veggie tales
in a water balloon fight with joe, you snuck into the house, put on a rain hat and coat and came after him with the hose
-idiosyncratic comma usage?

What Andrew thinks:
-You're a published author
-You enjoy web comics
-amateur blogger
-youngest nobel prize recipient
-you like to make up factoids.
-Oh, you know the secret to time travel.

And reader, I can't recite the alphabet backwards and I don't recall growling during basketball games. As for the Nobel Prize, it's all true.