The Site Visit

Greetings from southern Bolivia! I´m here giving my site a test run before I commit to living here for 2 years...or am committed. My site is north of the city of Tarija about 6 hours by flota...and let me tell you it´s quite a trip.

The 8 of us Tarija volunteers flew here last Sunday and were greeted in the airport by a bunch of screaming hippies who whisked us to a hotel and promptly took us out to partake in festivities. Unfortunately the best steak house in Tarija was closed but I was content with my ketchup pizza and ice cream. (See guys they have ice cream here! And it´s good!) AFTER finishing my pizza I was told that there was an actual-real-live Italian place down the road. We went there the next night and it was good although I think that maybe my standards are slipping. Sorry to keep talking about food. I actually dreamt about Cheerios a few nights ago. But my site has a Gringo mart stocked with Grape Nuts so maybe one day Cheerios will come too. Either way I´ve gotten used to drinking yogurt and have been served cow intestine twice this week. Going against my motto (I´ll try anything twice) I didn´t touch it either time. Just couldn´t.

Speaking of dreams. I hate malaria medicine and only have one more week of it. Hooray!

So anyway, on Monday we had counterpart day where we met our work partners and learned what they expected of us. I will be working with an Adventist NGO here who does stuff like land use, environment and health, and natural resources. Apparently I am expected to work in the vivero (tree nursery). The counterpart meeting also consisted of enumerating the rules of Peace Corps (no motorcycle, no coca, no sexual harrassment) and a brief explanation of American culture (sometimes we like to be alone and read) which my counterpart repeated to my other coworkers at least twenty times the next day. This is awkward because he also told everyone not to greet me in the traditional Bolivian way (kiss or campo hug which is like handshake-pat on the side-handshake). Anywho, the counterparts, my closest gringa neighbor (who also works for them), and I rode up together. (It is 4 hours by car including seeking the perfect location to pee and a lime-aid break)

What does it look like you ask? Leaving the city of Tarija we just went up and up and up the mountains on this narrow dirt-ish road that kept doubling back. My counterpart pointed out every location where a drunken bus driver went over the cliff but I only thought I was going to die once. It looks rather like the Southwest of the US (cliffs of red rock). It is not what I pictured Bolivia to look like. It is very dry, the vegetation is scrubby, and dust is now the fourth food group. So when we got to the site we had lunch, my buddy missed her bus and so we got introduced to everyone and their mother at the NGO. Then we all drove up to her site. (This is when I thought I´d die) She lives higher than I do in a similar sized city. I use city in a loose sense. There are only about 7000 people here but it´s not campo.

So the area is famous for beef and wine. I actually know which cow my intestines came from because the tree nursery is located just above the cow-killing place. I´ve been warned that this may cause an icky odor. Anywhoo on Wednesday I met everyone in the vivero. It was one of those days that I´m pretty sure I only understood half of what went on. I think my counterpart said that I can´t come to work drunk but that he and the guy in the mayor´s office are Catholic so if I wanna stay out until 3am on the weekend I can go with them and their wives. I am also pretty sure that he told everyone that I´m fluent and to not treat me like an idiot. Oh he did mention that if they weren´t nice to me then I would go back to my country...and of course he reminded everyone of the the Peace Corps rules.

Thursday and Friday I worked in the vivero. I have learned a few things. Bolivians don´t sweat. They may say they sunburn but also not true. Sometimes my ladies (I work with 3 diff ladies a day who get paid in food) bring goats to work. They are also totally capable of breast feeding and shoveling at the same time. Today I felt my work could be done by a trained monkey (or maybe if we trained the goats). My ladies and I folded, filled, and poked holes in about 400 plastic bags, gathered a ton of molla seeds and planted about half of them. This is good to know as I´ll be sure to seek out work in the schools or offering planting workshops.

I leave you with this: Telenovelas are like Shakespeare. They always involve drama and mistaken identity. They feature a wiser-than-he-seems fool. And I only understand about 1-3 of it.

Tomorrow I get to sit outside at 5AM waiting for a flota back to Tarija, carrying two liters of vinegar for my Peace Corps boss.

The real Carnaval

So I feel bad about the cryptic nature of my Carnaval description. Carnaval, as celebrated throught South America is the last ditch revelty before Lent (which actually hasn't been to drudgy cuz I forgot to give something up and my family still eats meat which I wish they wouldn't...bring on the trucha!) In Bolivia it is celebrated for about a month -- three weeks before Ash Wednesday and one week after. For those non-Catholics in the room, Lent is the period where Jesus lived for 40 days and nights in the desert, fasting, and resisting all sorts of temptations. As such, Catholics give up meat and things like beer or chocolate which can get pretty miserable. Anyhoo the day before Lent starts is a particular day of revelry (Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras, Martes de Cha'lla) In Bolivia there are several interesting traditions which I will try to explain even though it's my first Carnaval experience and I probably didn't understand half of what my family told me.

1. TRADITIONAL DANCES Each department (state) has their own dance. For example, there is the TInku which is basically ritualized fighting with some real-live bloodshed.

There is also the capporral,
which according to Lonely Planet simulates the treatment of slaves in the mines where they were forced to wear rattles on their legs. My brothers, who danced in our local entrada, danced this.



A treat for me in the Curso (big large city-wide parade of dancers) were the dancers of Afro-Bolivian heritage. Minroties of any non-Bolivian type or rather rare here and I tend to break into spontaneous applause when I see some. In fact when I show my photos from home I get some gasps at all the different types of people I know. A little bit of EEUU exchage. ANyhoooooo these dancers were phenomenally talented. Also there were dancers from the Chaco. Hot. Just hot. During tech week I learned the girl part which is basically just swishing and twirling while the guy part is more like American clogging...and again is just hot. Sigh.

2. CHA'LLA. On Martes de Cha'lla my family decorated our house with serpentina and globos. I found this a bit confusiing because it was a lot of work and no one actually came to see it. Who decorates if they're not gonna have a party? We also threw pink and white confites on the roof. Confites are pure balls of sugar with annise and are unfit for human consumption. I know cuz I tried one. Cha'lla is just an offering to Pacha Mama or Mother Earth. It can take a few forms but the two most popular are 1.spilling a little for your homies (dumping some booze on the ground) and 2) burning a llama fetus in your backyard. (En serio.) The fetus is burnt with offerings of incense, coca leaves and more confites. The ashes are then buried. People often do this to consecrate new houses or cars. Setting a fire under a car doesn't seem that wise but hey these are people who use electric showers.

3 LAPACHO (????) Also on Martes de Cha'lla is a traditional dish of cabbage, a very thin slab of unidentifable meat, the ubiquitous papas, what appears to be 10 day old rice all topped in a yellow garlic sauce with locoto...really hot peppers. It's also supposed to involve a pear. It almost made me cry.

4. COPLAS -- Picture some very sloshed old people in traditional dress having a rap- off (ala Eminimem in 8 mile...sorry for the folks who won't get the refernece) Now make it in Quechua, VERY loud and off-key and with not so subtle sexual undertones and you'll have a copla. At least this was my experience in our town festival. (But us gringas got to dance and the family's copla won second prize)

5. GLOBOS, ESPUMA,and PUNKS -- As I have whined about before, a significant portion of carnaval is pelting people with water balloons (sometimes with dye or poop inside). Also an annoyance is espuma, a shaving-cream like substance which is a particularly effective distraction during a pickpocketing, especially when it's in your eyes. (not my wallet, but I saw it)

Just to specify. I didn't have any serious pooping problem. I think it was a smidge of food poisoning. Stoopid fast food chicken. Next up is a description of tech week.

"Cheer up donkey"

Bienvenida a Bolivia

So I forgot the first entry of my newest adventure. From January 26...
Bright and shiny Monday morning (ok more like 3AM) I left for Miami. Upon arriving I encountered some hippie types in the van to the hotel. You guessed it...fellow volunteers. (Britta from MN and Russ from GA who is sick right now) Once in the hotel we lunched and then sat through two days of some chipper, short, man talking at us.

There are 29 volunteers (14 guys, 15 girls) and we are a rather homegenous group: mostly white, well traveled, with no hand-eye coordination.

Here are 4 of us!

I missed some part of this because an illness I had right before leaving flared up again. Since there were no docs I had to go to the hospital...wore a gown and everything. I got a shot in the fanny and no lellow lollipop. Oddly, I didn´t hear anyone speak in English the whole 6 hours I was there.

Tuesday at 6PM we went to the airport and sat there for a very long time. I was the only one to watch the State of the Union but I had many requests to give a summary. Flight to La Paz at 11 and a layover for 8 hours until our 20 minute flight to Cochabamba. Many poor little sick volunteers. Our first meal in Bolivia was Burger King. sad.

I´m not sure I can explain Coch. It is a medium sized city and it´s tranquilo. Bolivians (here come the generalizations) speak pretty slowly and are friendly. Our staff is particularly awesome although my language teacher seems a smidge strict. There is the requisite nice bits of town with everything that you would expect in an American city and then there are the people who live in their cars ¨down by the river.¨

grounds of training center

The mountains are huge and beautiful and above the city there is the largest statue of Christ in the world. At night it is lit up blue or green. (Don´t worry. after some sleep more adjectives will be used)

Mostly our time has been occupied by interviews about our site, our language abilities and our job placements. We had our first language class and first immunizations today. Two other people are in my language class. I think we are the grammatically correct afraid to speak-ers. On a side note, it´s surprising how dirty you can get and I´ve broken every nail so far. The horror.

There are plenty of older volunteers here and they keep dragging us out to eat and drink. I´ve already broken a rule but you´ll just have to guess which one. I think the food is pretty good but I´ve been eating in restaurants mostly (pizza, burritos, y pique machu) Pique is a traditional dish with potato wedges, hot peppers, meat, tomatos, sausage and a hard boiled egg. It´s traditional and apparently the only spicy thing here except laqua which is like salsa. I have to learn to finish large meals becuase it is uber offensive not to. The soup is phenomenal.

Everything that they tell us, particularly distasteful things, are followed with ¨Welcome to Bolivia.¨ For example, ¨Don´t chew coca or we´ll kick you out. welcome to Bolivia.¨¨Don´t throw toilet paper in the toilet. Put it in a wastebasket. Welcome to Bolivia,¨ ¨Don´t eat raw tomatoes or you might get a brain worm. Welcome to Bolivia.¨

Ok and despues.....Just for fun try explaining Groundhog´s day in another language without using the words Groundhog or shadow. Is it six more weeks of winter? Also try to explain a waste management plant without using the words waste, management, or plant. (The only word I could think of was shit. Sorry Gram)

So it´s Carnaval here and it is a custom to throw water balloons at gringos and pretty ladies (and I´m both thank you!) Every day as I walk to class these niños lay in wait to dump buckets on me (literal buckets). Lately I´ve been chasing down the little punks and emptying my water bottle on them but it´s kinda unpleasant to pass a day sin waterbottle. One of the other volunteers actually picked up a child and shook him upside down. I think I will adopt a less drastic solution... a supersoaker. Or my community action plan will address water conservation.

Ah the community action plan. We are supposed to scope out our communities and figure out what issue we should address and with which target group (eg trash and kiddos). My group got hooked up with a school but when we went to visit the teacher to discuss possible ideas he got it into his head that we were presenting that day. Sixty-six little eyes looking at us expectantly. Eeeps!

Jesus loves me this I know because he glows in the dark. Really!

Other things to worry the parents- There are stray dogs everywhere and many of them are crazy. We have learned to carry rocks around just in case we need them. My tech trainer actually recommended that I bring a large stick. So far I haven´t needed either but I don´t really want to see how well my rabies shots work.

There have been some huge thunderstorms. This causes the volunteers to dream pretty exclusively about war, bombs, and pretty ladies carrying large needles. I guess the thousand vaccinations are getting to us.

We´ve had several field trips...the archeological museum (fascinating culture! Our guide made some sort of joke about lobotomies and the NY Yankess but I´m not sure I understood.), some art galleries (where we were forced to talk to the artists), Mt. Tunari (llamas!), and of course the waste management plant. If you care for further details on any of these do tell.

Next update!

This weekend I moved in with my family in a smaller community outside of the city. I have a new mom and dad and two little brothers (12 and 7). They speak relatively slowly and repeat themselves multiple times. I also have two dogs, a few chickens, two cows, and some guinea pigs. In case you were wondering there is indeed cheese and ice cream here. On Sunday my brothers danced in El Carnaval. They got all dressed up in crazy costumes (leopard skins and feathered headresses and masks) and danced around the schoolyard. I sat with some other volunteers and their families and got rather suburnt. In fact, I learned the words for swollen, itchy and to scratch.

Funny story (el primer): At one point I had to use the bathroom so I walked to the outdoor toilets. They had no doors! I stood there looking helpless until some little girls made a wall for me.

In language news: the huge frickin green beetles are waqua waquas and to try food, which I´m doing a lot of, is probar.

Today we went to La Cancha which is a huge open air market. It was very overwhelming. My friend said that next time he´s going to bring his compass. You can buy anything from a bar of soap to a wedding dress. I did indeed buy a bar of soap (and a purse and watch) I learned how to haggle in Spanish class but I´m not very good at it. We also went to the waste management plant (to depress us) and a sustainable farm with lotsa neat projects like adobe houses, compost toilets, grass-fed chickens and various other agricultural experiments. Inspiring. And smelly.

Tomorrow I get my first rabies shot and I´m meeting my friend Sarah (from DC) for lunch.

Some things: If you send me a package please make sure it´s under 4lbs and that the customs value is 0. Otherwise I have to pay.

Downside of fame

Critics of my article say:

-well, its not embarassing, but gosh, where did he learn to punctuate?
-dude, you are not the baby
-what is up with the mom stuff? Is she gonna be upset?
-"life-long dream of raising environmental awareness around the world?" did you actually say that?
-I wish there was some signature Ellen humor in it
-I totally did NOT say that the president was going to "fix things."

Several minutes of fame

I just got interviewed by a local reporter with a VERY strong New Yawk accent who kept prouncing the terminal s in Peace Corps (ie Peace Corpse, giggle).

The following are some of the the standard questions he asked, followed by my immediate thoughts:
Why am I doing this? No idea really
What am I afraid of? Chicken buses, Chagas disease, and verb tenses
What do my parents think of this? ANGRY
What do I think about Monroe's environmental issues? The strip malls suck and Monroe is a soulless wasteland.

Luckily for the Peace Corps and my parents, I did not say my immediate thoughts but instead spewed a politically correct wonder of pro-environment-volunteerism-Peace Corps propaganda.

At some point in the conversation I brought up my blog. He asked to publish the address. Um, no.

You can see the masterpiece here.

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As promised, I hereby testimonialize that Justin is a fine catch for any future girlfriend. He is devastatingly handsome, super intelligent (often using sexy words like "redemption", "esoteric", and computer terms that I can't spell), and uber nice (unless mocking women and/or Catholics...just because it bothers me). Unfortunately he can't sing, tucks in his shirt, and doesn't know where Darfur is. But he is trainable. Feel free to contact me for further performance details.

Just goes to show.

So I was in Victoria's Secret today and there was a woman in a full burkah shopping for undies. AND her male companion was holding her purse. Hooray for women's lib!

Could I be more lame?

While driving all over God's green earth over the holidays (and to say "check-you-laters") I noticed quite a few catchy DOT sayings. Allow me to share a sampling: "Stay Alive. Don't Drink and Drive." "Click it or Ticket." and "Drive Hammered. Get Nailed" and from my very own NY "Buckle Up." We don't waste time on cuteness. I tried to think of a few - and wondered who gets paid to write them. Perhaps I will pursue it as a career.

In other news I've been replaced at work. Apparently they will miss me "coming in, telling a weird story, and disappearing again." It's good to be loved.

Mostly packed. Getting excited. Have been having scary dreams about Spanish verb tenses and contaminated water and wolves.

Stupid things

- MySpace has announced their new campaign to prevent known sex offenders from using the site. All ex-cons will have to register their email, which will then be banned from the networking site. -- Why can't a pedophile create more than one email addie? Soon Iheartboys@hotmail.com will be out stalking again.

- W (George W) has received feedback on his plan to "stay the course" in Iraq. All reports so far have been negative. W has decided to ask around a bit more.

- In Congress, there has been a recent push to make hunting legal for the visually impaired. "Because all people deserve to experience the fun of hunting." -- do I need to explain why this is stupid?

-Boys.

"I had a fantastic weekend."

And I am indeed alive. And not married.

On that bandwagon!

the iPod Meme.

How does the world see you?
In the Waiting Line (Zero 7)

Will I have a happy life?
Stephanie Says (the Velvet Underground)

What do my friends really think of me?
Nightswimming (REM)

What do people secretly think of me?
Wishing Well (Phantom Planet)

How can I be happy?
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Tan Dun and Yo Yo Ma)

Will I ever have children?
How Could You Want Him? (Spin Doctors)

What is some good advice for me?
Thrice All American (Neko Case)

How will I be remembered?
She Loves Everybody (The Verve Pipe)

What is my signature dancing song?
When You Say Nothing At All (Allison Krauss & Union Station)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Loretta (John Prine singing Townes Van Zandt)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Ageless Beauty (Stars)

What song will play at my funeral?
What Really Goes On (Tribe Called Quest)

What is my day going to be like?
Winding Road (Bonnie Somerville)

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Well that was completely pointless. Are you sufficiently impressed with my varied musical tastes? And in case you care my signature dancing song is Canned Heat (Jamiroquai) and the song to be played at my funeral is Lacrymosa (Mozart), maybe even the entire Requiem. My current theme song is Time Bomb (the Format) but not for its lyrics or maybe Better (Regina Spektor)....but my housemates would think Inches and Falling (the Format) because I sing it incessantly. "I love love. I love being in love. I don't care what it does to me."