dating dilemma

Like all modern urban women of a certain age, I have tried the online dating thing. Since I generally judge people on the their grammar and wit, the idea of scoping people out through a written profile and email exhange (plus carefully choreographed photos) appeals to me. I meet well-read, politically literate guys who are awesome people and spiffy dressers...and we have one date.

 

Moving away from that sad fact, one prospective boytoy recently posed the question "Who would you rather date, James Bond or Indiana Jones?" Never one to make an uninformed decision, I immediately began to draft a pro-con list:

 

James Bond

 

Pro

 

• Athletic
• Snappy dresser
• Likes to travel – even been to Bolivia!
• Good with gadgets – could probably program VCR! (I still hold this as the gold-standard of gadget mastery.)
• Variety – in the literal sense you almost never get the same Bond.
• Sophisticated – he owns his own tux!
• Sexy accent – what girl doesn't go for an accent?
• Intelligent
• EU citizenship – better healthcare and education system just in case we marry
• Well paid and well connected
• Tan suavecito – por Dios!
• Superduper hot – especially Daniel Craig
• Can defy laws of physics

Con

 

• Brits not known for sexual prowess
• Emotionally distant
• High maintenance
• Ladies’ man – must have the herp by now
• Questionable morals
• No sense of humor
• High risk profession

 Indiana Jones

 

 

 Pro

 

•  Athletic
• Boy Scout
• Likes to travel
• Low maintenance
• Quick thinker
• Close to family – you could have a charming inlaw
• Self-deprecating wit
• Good with whips – if you like that sort of thing
• Dog person
• Intelligent – reads dead languages (siiiiigh)
• Looks good in a bow tie – honestly that is hard to pull off!

Con

 

• Emotionally distant
• In love with Marion
• Gruff (could be super sexy pro)
• Somewhat naïve
• Afraid of snakes and rats
• Bad temper

 

 It all comes down to this astute observation from my friend Christian, "Would you rather die a horrible death in a foreign country on the adventure of a lifetime or would you rather die a horrible death in a foreign country on the adventure of a lifetime with an std? On the other hand James Bond comes with the new-every-two plan."

I'm not sure it really matters. I'll always be a Lloyd Dobbler girl.